The Holidays

Pies, Christmas cookies, cake, Mashed potatoes, Ham, green bean casserole, candy canes.... Why is food such a huge part of any holiday celebration? We get together and eat enormous portions of food and this is considered a Holiday tradition. It is hard to even imagine a Christmas celebration with out our traditional foods. So what is the the Thin Girl to do? Do you just have Christmas and pass on all the goodies. Well, my solution this year is two-fold. First, I need to eat healthy portion sizes and small servings of foods that are not so healthy, I also need to make sure that I make as many healthy options available to myself as possible. I you look hard enough you can find low calorie healthy versions of your favorite Holiday recipes that taste just as good. The second prong of my Thin Girl Holiday approach is to realize that Christmas is not about the food, Even if we had nothing to eat at all it would still be Christmas. Christmas is about love, and family and celebrating the birth of Jesus. Food is really not necessary. Just as the Whos down is Whoville found out when the Grinch stole their Roast beast.... "Christmas day is in our grasp as long as we have hands to clasp" Merry Christmas.

Willpower.

Many people, say that in order to live a healthy lifestyle one must used something called willpower. Often people that stuggle with weight issues have the common complaint "If I only had more willpower". Willpower, I have discovered is not the solution to my weight problems. Like many Yo- yo dieter. I can have a great deal of willpower in short bursts. I get really geared up and motivated and I follow whatever diet is all the rage to the letter I can use willpower for a good month or two of being "good". Then I get tired of not getting any of the stuff I like and I give in. So in this way I think part of the problem is that I have too much willpower. That I go for too long before letting myself have a small treat. The key for me is not allowing myself to feel deprived. Working the things I enjoy in in a way that is moderate where I don't go overboard, and using my finite resource of willpower to keep me from having five brownies, but allowing myself one small serving.

The Reason Why

Day 3 of Blog
Weight-218
Diet Sodas-0
Cheats- No breakroom cookies for me Thank you very Much!
Gym- Session today with Evil Trainer Kim. I love her....but she is evil.
Mood- Resolved

As long as I am on this journey, and you my blog reader are there with me. I thought that I would list the the things I want to get out of this. I would say my goals, but I think that it is beyond that. I think it is more like I want to free this person inside me that is being held back by my weight issues and all of the baggage that comes with them. Sometime it helps just to think about what that person is like...
She is strong, exercise is fun for her. She eats the foods that make her feel the best and those are healthy foods. She stops eating when she is full. She is confident, she auditions for local theatre productions and wins lead roles. She is full of energy and full of life. She goes out with friends. She is able to have a healthy pregnancy and bounce back from it like a celeb. Even after she has a baby she has the energy to do the things that she loves. She is able to help people, especially the people she loves because she takes care of herself.

That is where I am heading. I plan on being that girl. If I look hard enough even now I can see her some where inside me. Even as I long to be that girl. I can't completely discount the girl I am now. after all she was the one who decided to change.

Trapped!!

Day 2 of Blog
Weight- 220
Diet Sodas- 0
Cheats- 2 Dark Chocolate Truffles
Gym- 1 hour of Zumba
Mood- Discouraged

The name of my blog came about because I feel very trapped inside this fat girl shell. This is never more evident than the days when I exercise, particularly Zumba. Zumba is aerobic exercise based on Latin dance, and most of the time it is a lot of fun. Sometimes however it just frustrates me. Now I never really fancied myself a dancer, in fact I was never really very graceful at all, but I was able to pick up simple combinations and perform them. This was a necessary skill for any musical. In fact at 16 I played Leisel in the Sound of Music and did a pretty decent gazebo number. Now I am hindered by my body, I can no longer do things I think I should be able to do. I watch the instructor do a combo and think, "piece of cake I can do that" but then my body won't let me. My feet and knees hurt, or I am just not flexible enough, or parts of my body get in the way. I feel weak, and I hate it. You see I am usually good at most things I do. It is just this weight thing that I just can't seem to get right. I want to break out of this shell, I want to go to a dance class and effortlessly get thru the combos. I want to look in those mirrors on the wall and feel graceful when I move. I am doing all the right thing, I know that. It just feels on days like this that I am not making any progress.

Ready, Set, Blog

Day One of Blog

Weight- 219

Diet Sodas-0

Cheats- None so far but it is only 12:45

Gym-Day off

Mood- Ouch!!!

Never thought I would much like blogging. However I was listing to a podcast recently,Inside Out Weight Loss with Renee Stephens, Renee was talking about how important it is in our journey toward the body we want to never forget where we started, who we were, then, and why we never want to go back. So that is the purpose of this blog, when I attain my goals I want to look a back and see what I have accomplished and really see how far I have come.

Now, I am not just starting the journey. I have been working hard for a while now. but I want to look at where I was at the begining, and what started me down this road. One year ago, I was at my heaviest ever weight- 230lbs (yikes) and I went to the doctor for my annual check up and talked to her about starting my family. She told me I needed to lose some weight first in order to have a health pregnancy, and she suggested (gasp) looking in to a bypass surgery. I was in shock. I thought only scarrily obese people with no other options get surgery, but then I did a little research and found out that yes, my weight made me a candidate for a weight loss surgery.

I knew I had to do something, I didn't want surgery. You see my problem never was ignorance, I have always know what to do to be healthy, My dad is a coach, my middle sister is training to be an athletic trainer, I have alwasy had resources. I just knew better, and still made bad choices. So I began to make better decisions. I started exercising, I started counting calories, and I tried to stop eating the same crap that got me to 230lbs. It has been a hard road so far with many speed bumps along the way losses, and gains. One year later I am down 10 lbs net, and am more motivated than ever. So here we go again.

Lets look at my plan- what I am doing now vs. what I used to to

Now- I eat a healthy breakfast everyday. Then- I frequently skipped breakfast

Now- No Sodas- even diet-2 weeks and counting Then-2 to 4 diet sodas per day

Now- I make good food choices. Then- I loved heavy greasy fast foods, and

sugary sweets

Now- I workout 4-5 hours per week Then- I was one with the couch.

I am on the right road, I just need to stay the course.